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  Home » Before Combat

How To Be A Lamer – A Professional Noob Guide

World of Tanks Lamer
Hello Lamer from Bart.
Noob Maus thinks he can take hill - World of Tanks
Noob Maus thinks its a good idea to climb hill in Himmelsdorf.

Lamer's Guide

With the growing number of lamers and noobs playing World of Tanks, it has become necessary to write a guide on how to be a high ranking lamer.

Warning :- This page is rated PG13. If you’re under 13, please click on this link to be taken to a cartoon site. If you’re offended by profanity, or by lame remarks, then please click on this link to be taken away to a good cause.

If you’re still reading this, then please be warned that this page may contain profanity – in simple English, bad words. If you’re offended by it, or find it in bad taste, then please exit this page now.

Now with the formalities out of the way. And if you’re still reading this. Well then, welcome to the lamer’s guide. This page is for you – the lamers and noobs who whine about anything and everything.

You will find the top tips and strategies listed here to guide you on how to piss off your team mates, spoil the fun for everyone else, blame others, and make some people mad in the process. I also accept user submissions, so you may contribute with your own lamer comments.

Let’s get started...

Fact number one. It has changed much from the time World of Tanks was in beta mode in 2010. The players were a more matured bunch, respectful of each other and showed good sportsmanship in every battle. These days, its hard to pass even one single battle without someone whining, cursing or making stupid remarks.

If you don’t believe me, then try this test. When the battle timer is counting down – try to ask a stupid question such as “What’s the plan?”.

You will receive stupid answers like “To win”, or “Kill the enemy”, or “don’t die” to some other assortment of silly answers. Such is the mentality of players these days. Its true, “What’s the plan?” is a stupid question to an unorganized team that’s playing together for the first time. But it’s a valid question. The plan can be for mediums to take the hill. Arty to cover town, or heavies to roll down the death valley, or to split into two forces and push, etc.

These days there are just as many noobs in Tier 10 Maus as there are in tier 5 Panzer IV. So don’t think that just because he’s high tier, therefore he’s also high skilled.

Ok, enough bashing. So here’s a couple more top lamer strategies to rub it in and may you be the ultimate noob in World of Tanks.

Rushing Into Enemy Base and Suiciding

In the name of scouting. Get Set… Ready… Go… powwww, watch that scout go… rushing into the enemy base trying to get killed before the timer hits 30 seconds. There’s a term for it too – “suiscouting”.

The objective really is to light up the whole enemy team and die in a blaze of glory.

And since you know that scouts are light tanks, you probably noticed you're at the bottom tier - up against heavies, and mediums who are tougher than you. Some of the comments you can make are :-

    "what am i doing here?"
    "I feel so hopeless"
    "I cannot damage anyone"
    "MM sucks"

Staying alive and providing reconnaissance for your team in the mid to late game is not important. Finding and killing enemy arty is also not important.

Blame Arty For Stealing Kills

Its always arty’s fault. Whether they’re friendly arty or not – as long as you’re not having a good time – then arty’s at blame.

If you’re trying to kill a tank, and your arty helped you by killing it for you. Then you should return the favor and blame them for stealing your kill. Some of the suggested comments you can make are :-

    “Hummel, you stole my kill”.
    “GW Panther, go get your own kills”.
    “FU arty. Stealer”.

Blame Arty When You Die/Lose

No matter how you died. Whether you died by enemy arty, or got killed by someone else. When you die, or when things aren’t going well, a good strategy is to blame arty for it.

If killed by enemy arty, then send a message to the enemy arty like this :-

    “FU arty. Coward”.

If you got killed by someone else, or if your team is losing, then blame your own arty like this :-

    “our arty is sleeping”
    “arty, how about getting some kills”
    “enemy arty did a good job. Our arty didn’t do his job”

Actually its better to take it even further. To be safe, just blame arty for everything.

If your arty has no kills – then he’s a noob. If he have a lot of kills, then he’s plucking easy fruits.

Blame Your Noob Teammates

Even before the game ends, and before the outcome is certain, you can start the blame game. The prerequisite is you must be already dead, otherwise you will be too busy controlling your tank.

You see, whenever you die, its because your team mates didn’t cover you. They were noobs sitting in base, or noobs rushing to enemy base, or noobs attacking, or noobs defending, or just noobs.

On your team, you’re the only good player. You rushed forward, and died in glory. You did a good job – but your teammates didn’t. You’re just unlucky you got a noob team.

Insult your team members by saying things like :-

    “Noob team”
    “T34 is a retard”
    “we died on hill. What did you _<fill in the blank>_ do?”
    “if only you used your brains, you will come and help me”

Shoot Your Team Mates in the Back and Score Some Team Kills

Just for the fun of it, it is recommended to shoot your team mates in the rear. This allows you to test your gun to see if its effective at causing damage. Every once in a while, go berserk and start rampaging and shooting at all your team mates.

If you do a decent amount of friendly team damage, you will be rewarded by being colored blue. Do that twice in a row, and you will be further rewarded by being banned from the game.

No worries, this works like a charm and is guaranteed to piss off your teammates.

Make Some Sexist Remarks or Racist Remarks

If you want to piss someone off, and your efforts at pissing him off is not paying off – then you can make some sexist remarks or talk about their mother, father, sister, grandmother, or something like that. You can prove how childish you are by some of these suggested remarks :-

    “your sister plays better than you”
    “your girlfriend is on me now”

Racist remarks work well too – you’ll know its magic has worked when he hits the print key, and reports it to support to have your account banned.

Hide Behind Arty

Everybody loves the tank destroyer or heavy tank hiding behind arty. Let your arty defend himself, while you cower behind him. Arty have a big gun, they can protect you. And if arty dies, you can use the large hulk for cover.

Close Your Eyes While Driving

There is no horn in World of Tanks. The ability to honk is long overdue, so hopefully the developers will implement it soon. But in the meantime, you can improve your driving skills by closing your eyes while driving. You'll know you have collided into someone when you hear a metal clanging sound. After that you can open your eyes to check if you've received some of these messages :-

    "learn to drive, moron"
    "watch where you're going"

Did you know light tanks can be used to direct traffic? At the start of battle, while everyone is driving out of base - just drive in front your ally, and then stop. Or you can get in the way by ramming his side or rear to irritate and slow him down.

Going Solo and Attacking Alone

Forget about team play. This is a free for all. Going individually has its benefits because when you kill more enemies, or do more damage, you gain more experience points and credits. Going solo and attacking alone brings the best rewards.

At every chance you get, go alone, attack alone and ensure no teammates are nearby.

Camp and Hide When You Should Attack

Camping is a very clever strategy to steal kills, while staying safely behind cover. This is especially recommended for light tanks, and medium tanks. Hide in a bush, or behind some rock where the enemy cannot see you. Let your teammates fight in the frontlines while you camp and take sniping shots where possible.

Watch your teammates die, then laugh at them while you get all the kills. After that the enemy team will come for you – but that’s alright. Your objective has been achieved – and that is to piss off your teammates.

Camping however is not suitable for tank destroyers or arty. Tank destroyers should do the opposite. They should rush and attack. Tank destroyers like JagdTiger have big guns, and can be driven like medium tanks. They can rush up the hill and wrest control of the hill from enemy Type 59s.

As for arty, assume a forward position, in front of your base defenders. It gives you better visibility and attack chances.

Scouts should just hide behind in base.

Curse the Wallet Warriors

If you see any of your teammates driving premium tanks, you can curse them by calling them “wallet warriors”. This is best done when the timer is still counting down, so you may something like :-

    “wallet warriors spoil the game for everyone”
    "wallet warriors, learn to play the game"
    “many wallet warrior noobs. You don’t qualify to drive a_____ <fill in the blank>__”

Be prepared to watch the responses – but its guaranteed fun.

Everybody Go in One Direction

This strategy requires some luck and coordination. It doesn’t always work out, but when it does, it can be quite fun. In this strategy, all the players should go in one direction. There’s no need to protect arty, no need to protect base.

For example, everyone can take the west road, while leaving the center and east approaches completely open. The reason is because the enemy is too lame to know you’re lamer than him.

Shoot Your Ally While Capping

In order to win the Invader award for yourself, you can shoot your teammates who are also capping with you. Preferably do this at the 99% mark. This strategy is proven to work when an ally KV-5 shot and killed me while we almost capped the base at 99%. The meter dropped to 33%, and a few seconds later, an enemy King Tiger and Type 59 came and finished off the rest of my team.

We lost, but no one can deny the KV-5 used an excellent lamer strategy.

The Ultimate AFK Strategy

AFK means "away from keyboard". World of Tanks players have been using this strategy with great success for a very long time. Every now and then, after you've started a battle, just get up from your seat and walk away. Walk around your room, or go to the toilet and take a piss - even if you have no water to pass, you still can go to the toilet, look in the mirror, and comb your hair.

Your teammates will realize that you're AFK. Don't worry, they will cover you and protect you while you're away getting that much needed break. Some other things you can do improve your AFK skills are to polish your nails, call your girlfriend, start up a skype chat, play with the dog, or fall asleep.

The Ultimate Anti-AFK Strategy

Any player who uses the Ultimate AFK strategy, can be countered with the Ultimate Anti-AFK strategy. In this strategy, once you have detected an AFK, circle around him and damage everything he has - tracks, gun, engine, view port, fuel tanks. There's a good chance he'll actually come back to find himself in a severely crippled tank.

Heavy Tanks, High Tier, But Fight Like a Lamer

If you want to be a lamer, you have to fight like a lamer.

Heavy tanks, especially tier 8-9 heavies such as King Tiger, E-75, IS-3, Lowe and so on. When in a dogfight, position yourself so you expose your rear and side armor to the enemy. The best is to expose your broadside, so the enemy have the best chance of hitting your engine and setting you on fire.

Also if there are multiple enemies attacking you, move your heavy tank forward to expose yourself so they can all attack you together. This will draw enemy fire away from your teammates because a heavy tank like yours is indestructible.

And a special for Maus and E-100 lamers. If there is open ground, and you know there is tier 8 enemy SPG, such as the deadly Object 261, T92 or GW Type E - just drive out to the open field, sit at the open field and shoot the enemy.

Tier 8 SPGs take a long time to aim, so please stand still to give them the best shot to land their 180mm, 203mm and 240mm HE shells on your hull.

Remember if you die, there are so many reasons. You can blame arty, blame your teammates, you can even blame MM.

Conclusion

World of Tanks, just like any other online game needs noobs and lamers to spoil it for everyone else. If you see a lamer, please point them to this page so they can improve their laming skills. This page is dedicated to lamers.


46 Lame Responses

TrailApe says:
Rear Ending - (August 7, 2012)
Look for one of your team mates who are unsportingly using cover to good effect - let them pop out to fire their shot, but before they can reverse back in to coover, drive right up behind them, leaving them:-

a) In full sight of the enemy
b) Gun not loaded
c) In full sight of the enemy with an unloaded gun.

Once you have got yourself in this enviable position, only move if your team mate has a big gun and is intending to use it on you - normally they won't as they are fighting for their LIFE.

'noob camper' is usually a good remark to make once they explode.

Ker_Splish82 says:
Lamer Commo - (August 13, 2012)
Whatever you do, don't discuss any strategy at all. Make your best effort to ignore requests for help, or advice for attack vectors; and for the love of GOD don't act like you're part of a team...

Napittaja says:
Noob suicideteam and i´m last alive. - (August 21, 2012)
Playing E-100, whole own team dies front of big td´s and heavys ambush. I´m last of my team, becouse i know when take cover. Done lot of damage to enemy, but whole team calling you asshole faggot becouse i was behind them. So who know how to play and stay alive is shame of team.

m36supersluggermk5 says:
churchill - (August 17, 2012)
For love of god if ur killedby a church the team sucks i love it wheni kill the top 3 enemy tanks and then let the noobs start in then go kick there ass to and some times i ram some shells in a frendly Assbut really noobs get thefuckoff the game if one of these tatics soundlike u ur a nooband stats aint everything my are ok but i just play to havefuntill the diccks show up

KalKathes says:
Join LV10 matches with LV1 loltrucks - (August 22, 2012)
Once your in the game with the help of a noob Lv10 ally in your platoon getting loads of friendly abuse from your fellow players start control clicking the map all around where your team are stationed. This is guaranteed to produce some quality results and will help infuriate all your team into blasting you off the face of the earth :)

zoinkski@hotmail.co.uk says:
Assault! - (August 22, 2012)
When playing assault mode as the attacking team, especially on malinovka i have found that the best tactic is to not attack at all. just sit around and camp the start area and wait for the timer to run out, i have won so many games this way and besides i'd be out of breath by the time i reached the summit of that hill..............

Evolme says:
New to game - (August 27, 2012)
While the timer is counting down ask "how do i go forward?" or as the timer expires just hold reverse in. Claim you are playing on a friends account and that you are just 10years old.

Ithilsul says:
Last ones standing - (August 30, 2012)
When the last enemy tank remaining is hiding from arty with a rock, you, as a medium tank and the last of your team with a friendly arty, MUST NOT engage the enemy tank. Just let your friend crawl through the entire map at 8 km/h (that should take something like 10 mn, as there is MANY hills), and let him do the job. That will suppress any chance of damaging your recently polished hull.
Enjoy the timer decrasing and your friend sweating and cursing at you, trying to reach the enemy before the timer expires. Do not hesitate to block him on his way.

Snak3 says:
Preparing for attack - (September 26, 2012)
In a desert map with both sides on hilly gounds, don't ever encourage your friendly allies to hide behind bushes, rocks or whatnots when they are preparing for enemies' assault. Instead, as an spg, you should encourage one of your med tank allies who happens to be nearest to the flag to go scout the area, never mind that the enemy's scout is waiting patiently to pounce on your ally, cause your bright and shiny 120mm gun is already pointing at the map looking for victims to devour. This way you only sacrifice one of your team's best med tank in return for intelligence around the flag, what's even better is the prospect of you killing one of the enemies' scout and get some precious xp in return. If your team mate dies in the process, never EVER take the blame, instead, try shooting back responses, eg. "My gun takes forever to load, have u even tried being a Hummel b4?" or "It's his fault not having noticing the enemy's scout, cause he can't shoot him and he's a noob". Never mind that, in the end your team will most probably lost in the end cause they were stormed by the enemies, and you are of the lone surviving spg.

JDInsall says:
I'm BIGGER than you - (September 26, 2012)
He's in your sights, one second until reload, then the tier 10 rolls in front of you, parks and does nothing. You move to get your shot, and get blown away by the enemy you had in your sights! The moral being, NEVER EVER, look around you. You are tier 10, nobody else matters.

J.S says:
people with premium tanks - (October 9, 2012)
I agree people with bought tanks are just perfectic. Me on the otherhand I work my way up to the best tanks. Yet with the new update it has become awsome the game. right now I am a tier3 but they are quite good infact earlier on in the game i beat a tier 4 tank with a tier 2 spg. if ya play look out for me jskelton11 . roll out!

discos_dead says:
Cover is for sissies! - (November 6, 2012)
As SOON as the timer reaches zero make SURE you mow down ALL the trees between your team and the enemy. This ensures that each side has an unobstructed view and a clear shot at each other. This will give you an opportunity to shine, and your teammates to glow (while on fire).

cannedglobule says:
Malinovka - (November 11, 2012)
Whilst sat behind the wooden fence separating you from the field with the camping enemies, fire into space or move backwards and forwards close to another team mate. This has severeral benefits.
1. It notifies the enemy that you are a crazed tanker and if any dare approach you will rip em a new one.
2. It warms the barrel which make the shells travel faster and harder.

Another free tip is to type messages while your tank is in motion and turning. The enemy will see you are busy and wait for your message to arrive before shooting you.

Ray Seaman says:
Excellent!!! - (November 16, 2012)
A must read for all players!

Egbert says:
Aquaduct - (October 23, 2012)
Push your teammate of the aquaduct. It won't count as a friendly kill and with luck they won't even know you did it. It's hilarious.

rptb1 says:
Follow the scout - (November 28, 2012)
The scout seems to know where he's going. Follow him, park next to him in that bush, and open fire. Why's he hogging that excellent sniping spot? Attract enemy shells and tanks. Why's he not firing? Oh, he's dead. Where did everyone go?

Nefritis says:
Dont prevent the enemy from capping - (December 2, 2012)
Halfway through the game, while you are attacking the right flank and you see all the tanks on the left flank died and the enemy now has a clear path to your base, turn around and make your way back to your base to act as if you are going to help defend. Check the minimap to make sure the arty was actually smart enough to get away from the base and getting ready to shoot at the base to decap. When you get inches away from spotting whoever is capping the base, STOP to observe your surroundings. You will see artilery desperatly crying for you to spot the enemies who are capping the base. Just ignore him and wait till the base is captured up to 90 points. Laugh at the arty for caring about trying to prevent a loss. This one works best when you are a moderator for the arty will now start calling you all sorts of names, then just ban him for insulting you.

MEC903 says:
Hug a teammate - (December 27, 2012)
When a teammate is putting rounds on target, he/she is vulnerable to being killed and is under stress. To comfort him/her, pull your tanks right up to the teammates rear and also hug his/her tanks sides. This tactic allows them to know they are not alone and it helps lower their stress.

KriegEm says:
Hug enemy tanks - (January 9, 2013)
When friendly arty declares that they are going to shoot an enemy tank, run up and give it a hug. That way those arty (we never really liked them anyway) will have to cover your repair bill, and you'll get a nice bonus!

Sergeant Chronus says:
Addition to shooting team-mates - (November 24, 2012)
For even more hilarity when shooting a friendly, make sure he's a light, you're a TD and shoot him up the arse while he's trying to fight the enemy. Its always good to have that extra bit over cover for kill stealing.

PartyCat says:
Worst Arty Evah - (January 24, 2013)
As a light, go and circle your arty, damaging all they're modules.
Leave the least amount HP on your arty.
The say where your arty is [example: West off farm in B2.]
And the keep them tracked.
They will be dead in notime. :D

MrMonkey says:
Charge Forwards! - (January 17, 2013)
When the timer gets to "0", be sure to charge forwards as fast as you can, but don't worry about hitting any tanks. And remember, always take the most direct route to the enemy base, even if its across the field!

_PRESIDENT_OF_THE_USA_ South-East Asia says:
TrOlLiNg - (January 11, 2013)
I troll and use the lamers guide all the time lol.Iv been banned for a total of 3 months in total.Chat ban for insult to moderators and everything! LOLOLOLOLO!Im the biggest noob the the south-east-asain server.Only when im in a trolling mood.Otherwise.Im a very good and exxelent smart player.

VeryRisky says:
When to blame - (February 5, 2013)
There is an error in your guide. You suggest that you should wait until you are dead before blaming your teammates as you would be controlling your tank. This is a poor stategy as there may be insufficient time to get enough blame in. Best start with the countdown timer at 30 secs and continue right through battle. This way there is an additional advantage that by ignoring your tank and distracting your teammates your loss prediction is more certain.

jbehnken says:
The Hill is King - (February 23, 2013)
When playing an encounter battle in Himmelsdorf, be sure to capture that all important hill. Please pay no attention whatsoever to the two light tanks in the rail yard screaming for help and trying to dislodge the red team's KV-1 capping the base. They are unimportant and will die shortly anyway. The hill is everything and must be your primary focus. Besides, those two light tanks should have been supporting you up here instead of rushing the cap.

soulboystu says:
Thats my spot - (February 25, 2013)
See someone in cover go behind and push them into open cos your entitled to that spot , how dare they take that spot its yours and then complain when they shoot you for being a twat

Skeeterhawk says:
Jostling the elbow - (March 5, 2013)
Sit behind a heavy or medium peek a booing with the enemy. As they pull out to shoot, nudge them from the side or behind to screw up their aim. Bonus points for blocking their path back behind cover so they get killed. Also effective for pissing off a sniping (camping, in your view) teammate.

Giang Nguyen says:
Be a fair lamer with your enemy team - (April 9, 2013)
When your ally tanks are about shot enemy tanks, make sure to rush forward and block the view between those tanks. It's very effective to use this strategy to piss your allies, plush you can have some bonus money if your allies accidentaly shoot you. (sorry for my bad english, but guess what?? A lamer never apologise!! Just blame someone else)

Dildo Faggins says:
SPG shot blocking - (March 26, 2013)
This is very tricky to pull and only works in certain situations, like El Halluf. If you are starting on the southern end, friendly spgs love sitting around the J5 area to cover the A line. simply take your poorly armored spg, light tank, td, whatever, and just sit slightly elevated above the friendly spg and in his firing path. He's got his eye on the a line so he won't know what's going on. When he destroys you make sure you call him a noob for tk-ing.

Oppa Tanknam Style says:
This is my bush! - (April 17, 2013)
Experience from a low-tier battle a while ago:

A genius from a romanian clan places his UC-2 behind a bush a few meters away from my T-18 after start of battle. After 10 seconds, he drives out of the bush and down the hill.
I take the place behind the bush, an enemy is spotted, I want to aim - and see only grey. This was b/c the UC-2 hero decided to go back to "his" bush in reverse gear and stood right in front of me.
He turned around, looked into my howitzer, then drove around me.
I concentrated on the enemy again, when a shot hit my T-18. I zoomed out and looked who hit me - the romanian hero! Tried to turn around, when the second shot in my back blew up my tank.
When I asked him why he teamkilled me and called him idiot, he answered: "That was my place! Next time stay on your place, idiot!"

So: Any bush on the map can be YOUR bush, and of course it is absolutely right to teamkill anyone from your team if he dares to occupy it!

pirithiumx says:
BalCher - (April 26, 2013)
I like this best : Go fuck off you bastards...americans are all useless doggies...

FUCK YOU WORLD OF TANKS....

Gewherschwanz says:
Culling the herd - (May 7, 2013)
Always pay attention to the relative health of allies...using the ALT key is essential for this...the noob strategy here is very simple; when you see that guy who has been battling in a slow and inefficient manner (he has the audacity to actually shoot, return to cover, reload, peek out, shoot again, etc.) instead of balls-to-walling it and slugging it out like a real man, wait until he is down to 10% or less...then, teach him the ultimate lesson by "accidentally" ramming him at high speed...explain this as "sorry, just trying to get under cover"...only explain this after you've used his burning hulk for extra cover AND dispatched his rival...then brag on the forums about being Darwinian in your playing style...this happened to me the other night on my Cromwell...I had the M4 across the way nearly dead after killing his LT buddy, got rammed/killed/shoved into the gap, got the sorry message, and the joy of watching the fun loving teammate finish my prey, then run back to our flag...at least he got nailed later, and who would have guessed it, complained about the damned arty...the best part was the bragging I saw by him on forums later...a new level of douche-baggery, that

CJ says:
It's race day - (May 26, 2013)
Get everyone moving in one direction and into a big bunch then keep slamming into them. Sides work the best as you can force the herd into a smaller area. Enemy arty detest shooting at a group of 5 closely packed tanks. Sometimes you can even pull a PIT maneuver on them, causing them to go sideways. It's hilarious. Arty will be so amused they won't be able to fire or reload. Remember this is a race. This game was based upon Fast and Furious after all. I will have my revenge though my gold plated 22's are shipping soon.

banangurka says:
chaffee - (May 29, 2013)
If you see a chaffee in a bush, drive up behind him and start shooting at enemy.

BruceJax says:
Request Fire at [insert name here] - (June 2, 2013)
Be sure that after you've run ahead of the whole team, you call frequently for fire at those nasty enemies trying to kill you. Don't worry a bit that the arty you are begging to help you is already dead 'cause you (and your team mates) abandoned him.

Fasttrack says:
Liked it :-) - (June 9, 2013)
Your article made me piss my pants laughing. ok my first time ever in the 20 years im playing pc and segas intendos ps3 etc. i finally decided to join an online multiplayer game. Love it. And yes in my infinite wisdom i figured ill buy a premium tank and no probs. Wrong being subjected to the word noob does get annoying but ive met some cool people. Everyone has the chance to buy a tier 8 tank but u know what your right better to start from the bottom. But at 28 years old i like to start at the top and get better from there. But i hold back and i try my damnedest to win. don't use bad words unless provoked dont use racist slurs hate em. But do lamers and noobs ruin it for everyone else hell no. we all have to learn and its a bit of fun. email me your nickname on the site we can try have a face off maybe some time if u like. and as for arty some are useless ok defend the base but move the hell up the map i dont care if they steal hits just win the damn game lol. Take care.

Ezza says:
Tier X - (June 30, 2013)
Just remember to support your Tier X tanks as they are so vulnerable to enemy attack and will of course encourage the lower tier tanks to head up the fight leaving them to mop up and mourn your death.

STFU says:
lol - (June 21, 2013)
You know, the game rewards you pretty much the same fucking way even if you go and kill everyone. So why not go and make credits faster. I MAKE AN EFFORT to go in and die first. if i piss people off in the process im even happier. I make so many more fucking credits and gain so much more xp by just going straight in and dying. It might make you mad, but im raking in the credits and xp mother fucker. fuck you

Mr Fugazi says:
Proper use of Battle Chat - (July 16, 2013)
Lamers love to ensure everyone knows the latest in 'tactics' by spamming "Attention to <coordinates>" repeatedly to create a cascade of messages no one can ignore.

However a true Alpha lamer has mastered the art of Battle Chat by using the attention cursor on the minimap to spell out 'ROXXOR' or another impressive motivational message.

This is best used when someone else desperately wants to call for help or otherwise needs to say something. After all what they have to say on Battle Chat cant possibly be more worthwhile than your input; so it's for their own good that you drown out all other commentaries with an endless stream of 'Attention' coordinates.

Jugger71 says:
Keep your teammate from harms way - (August 6, 2013)
The absolute BEST example of team spirit I've encountered was a month ago when in El Halluf a teammate was so concerned about my health and well-being that he pinned my T-28 against a rock so that I didn't get shot by the enemy. I was so well protected that for 10 minutes I didn't even see the enemy save the mini-map. He of course could fire the enemy so that they didn't get too close to harm me. I was moved to tears after 5 minutes. I even tried to fire my gun in appreciation in his vicinity and he took the encouragement really well and continued to keep me safe. Only after enemy was on the other side of the rock he backed off and let me move into enemy's sights. Even if I died in 10 seconds I'm forever grateful that he protected me as long as was humanly possible. I salute you.

originalpanzerlied says:
Lamers - (September 7, 2013)
Make sure you always pull directly in front of someone actively engaged in combat. Parking in front of a TD with no turret is worth extra lamer-points. When the teammate tells you to move, ignore him. When you get killed, blame the guy you parked in front of for not helping you.

icouldcareevenless says:
lamers - (September 30, 2013)
lol loved this yes i have made mistakes but i dont complain about it lol i love it try dark orbit ur noob this noob that yes iam a noob so what its a game lol not real life i will improve so will everyone else one day mean time enjoy the games u cant win them all no mater what happens in the game

notaclue4u says:
lamers - (October 27, 2013)
This works best in the heat of a battle in a canyon or narrow street.. what you do is to pull behind your fellow tanker who is poking and shooting.. and right when he pokes, pull up directly behind him to see if you can get a shot in.. After all, when he most likely dies because you blocked his retreat, you now have some good cover you didnt have before!

icouldcareevenless says:
lamers - (September 30, 2013)
lol loved this yes i have made mistakes but i dont complain about it lol i love it try dark orbit ur noob this noob that yes iam a noob so what its a game lol not real life i will improve so will everyone else one day mean time enjoy the games u cant win them all no mater what happens in the game

oakwhelie teh stronkest tenk says:
real ULTIMATE afk strategy - (November 2, 2013)
there is a better way rather than doing random stuff.

after you enter the battle,exit then play another tank,exit the battle and repeat it again.this way you can play as many tanks as possible and gain lots of free exp and credits without worrying about how to play.

icouldcareevenless says:
lamers - (September 30, 2013)
lol loved this yes i have made mistakes but i dont complain about it lol i love it try dark orbit ur noob this noob that yes iam a noob so what its a game lol not real life i will improve so will everyone else one day mean time enjoy the games u cant win them all no mater what happens in the game

icouldcareevenless says:
lamers - (September 30, 2013)
lol loved this yes i have made mistakes but i dont complain about it lol i love it try dark orbit ur noob this noob that yes iam a noob so what its a game lol not real life i will improve so will everyone else one day mean time enjoy the games u cant win them all no mater what happens in the game


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